I Don't eat Anything!

Post 7
Weight loss the right way
By Trafford R. Cole PsyD

Last week (post 2) we stated that losing weight permanently requires first a change in attitude. The first attitude change is that there is no magical solution. If we keep looking for a quick easy way to lose weight, we will only be disappointed in the end. To reinforce this concept a recent study showed that statistically if you start a diet today – any of the fad diets – it doesn’t matter which one, one year from now you will weight more than you do today. They found that all the subjects in their test weighed less after 3 months, most had maintained their loss at six months, but nearly all had regained everything and gained more by the end of the year.

The second attitude that you must acquire is that this is about health not weight loss per se`, and not about looks. Unless you just need to lose five pounds to fit in your bikini or if you have a multi-million dollar contract waiting for you if you lose 30 pounds in a month, strict diets are bad for your health. Beyonce’s maple syrup diet is a starvation diet. It adds up to 300 or 400 calories a day and was enhanced by an increase in her exercise routine with a personal trainer so that she was also consuming twice the calories from her normal routine which was already more exercising than most of us do. If you start burning 4,000 calories and taking in only 300 it is guaranteed that you will lose weight. However it is also guaranteed that this is bad for you. By the end of the week besides feeling burned out, you will have cramps, you may have digestive problems, interrupt your menstrual cycle and have dizzy spells. The longer you continue the more risk you have of permanent damage to your kidneys, heart and other internal organs. This is not healthy and it is not wise. In any case, it doesn't work for the long term. You will stop the diet, gain back the weight and add on more pounds.

Change is a strain on your heart and organs both an increase and a decrease in weight causes strain. The more sudden and severe the change the greater the risk is. Most good doctors advise that you should lose weight slowly and gradually by making permanent dietary and life style changes. All it takes is a 10% decrease in weight to alleviate most physical problems. Except in extreme cases, it is better to lose this 10% in body mass over a year's time then in brief periods. If it has taken you years and years to put on the weight, why do you expect to lose it in a month or two? The important thing for your health is to reverse the trend. Each year weigh something less than the year before. So for your health weight loss should be gradual. It also means that any diet that deprives the body of necessary vitamins, minerals or proteins is not good for you and should be avoided. Take dietary supplements is never a good way to balance your diet. Pills are not absorbed well by the body and don't have the same balance of vitamins that natural fruits and vegetables do.

Weight loss tip # 2
Most people who have lost large amounts of weight (60 pounds or more) and who have kept it off state that the number one dietary change they made that made the difference is to start drinking large quantities of water. Not low calorie soda, but water and at least two quarts a day, but often much more.

Discover yourself

Post 6
Discover yourself
By Trafford R. Cole PsyD

For all of you who have just arrived at the this blog, go to post 1 and answer the self-test question before reading any further. Below is the answer to the test:

Coffee and coffee shops are linked to the adult world and adult relationships. How you answered the questions in this scenario tells us something about how you manage stress in your own adult relationships. So here goes:

The atmosphere you described is what you seek most in your workplace of school. Some thrive in a lively environment almost elbow to elbow with other people and others prefer quiet solitude. Which are you? Extrovert, introvert or in-between?
What you did while you waited for your cup of coffee is related to the major source of stress in your life. Did you sit and observe the other customers? You may be overly concerned about what others think, do or say. You feel observed by others – so stop worrying and just be yourself.
Instead you picked up a book or magazine and read while you were waiting. You are too passive about life. You need to act more – get out and do some physical activity.
You say and did nothing at all? You need more stimulation in your life. You are bored and need something to occupy your time
How did the coffee taste? The flavor and temperature correspond to the level of
stress that you needlessly create for yourself in life. Was it too hot or too cold,
lukewarm, too bitter of slightly burned? Why? In your dreams you can have
anything you want, why not at least treat yourself to a nice cup of coffee


For next week try this:
1)close your eyes and imagine an animal, any animal. Now write down all the characteristics that you associate with that animal. Done
2) close your eyes again and imagine an animal, any animal. What is the first animal that pops up in your mind. Write it down and write down the characteristics that you associate with it
3) Repeat again. Relax and think of an animal. Write down the first animal that pops up in your mind. Write down the characteristics.
It may happen that it is the same animal each time – this is OK

The solution next week.

Post 5
Organize your life
By Trafford R. Cole PsyD

This fourth aspect of taking control is sort of the miscellaneous column. It includes managing our time, our relationships, our free time and simple things like cleaning up the clutter in our home. We will dedicate posts to each of these aspects, but today let’s start with the easy part first, if indeed it is so easy.

Some people are just naturally orderly. Their desk is clean or well organized at work, their house is always neat and in order and they take great care in how they dress and their appearance. There are indications that this has a genetic root. In one instance for example a set of twins were brought up in separate families. Both were obsessively neat – what we would call neat freaks. The first explained this saying: “how could I not be neat, my mother had mirrors everywhere in the home and everything had to spotless. If my room was in disorder I could not eat dinner.” The other twin justified his obsessive neatness saying: “My mother was such a slob that the house was always dirty and I could never find anything. I became neat as a reaction to her sloppiness.”

Some experts believe that the neat freaks and slobs are really two sides of the same medallion. They believe that the neat freak has to have absolute control over their environment because they feel out of control internally and any outward manifestation of disorder sends them in tilt, whereas the slob feels comfortable in the mess because it allows for creativity, and they do not feel the need for external control because they are in control on the inside.

Which are you? For most people clutter in their environment is a sign that they feel out of control. There are rooms in the home that they avoid because they have gotten out of control. They can’t find important papers or files, or they are constantly looking for things and feeling frustration. If this is you then it is time to take action.

Organizing tip # 1
Rather than wait until you have time to clean the whole garage or closet, which you keep procrastinating because it will take hours or days, every time you pass through the garage, or open the closet take one item and put it away. Over time instead of having a mammoth task to perform it will become more manageable.

Eliminate Financial stress

Post 4
By Trafford R. Cole PsyD

Another area where many people feel out of control and frustrated is with their personal finances. The purpose of this part of my blog is to lead everyone to personal wealth, including myself of course.

How many of you feel like you are like a hamster in one of those wheels where they run and run and run but they never get anywhere. This, maybe, is why they call it the “rat race.” It is extremely frustrating to get up every morning, work hard, do all your chores and duties, and then find yourself at the end of the month paying your bills with nothing left over, or even more debt. You dream of a raise or new job and maybe after years it comes, but strangely enough there you are working hard and getting nowhere. You’re running to keep up with your obligations, paying off student loans, mortgage on your house and just feeding your kids, but it never seems to get any better. You read of others who are making it, who are getting rich and you think what is wrong with me?

Well, you are the majority. You are the middle class. So how do you take control? You might think that I will start talking about how to get out of debt as a first necessary step. I will, but not yet. That is only step four in the process. The first step, just like weight loss starts with your attitude towards life and towards money. Money, like food, is a very emotional subject. Our attitude towards money was rooted early in life from our family. What we heard, the model our parents gave us deeply effects us even though we may not be aware of it.

Were you taught that money is the root of all evil? Did you parents talk about the rich exploiting the poor? Did you hear pride in your father’s voice because he worked with his hands, not like those dump college boys who don’t know how to do anything? Is security your most important need? Or, do you believe that the world owes you a living? Do you believe that there is a shortcut to wealth? Do you believe that you deserve more without paying the price of success?

What research shows is that the rich think differently from the rest of us. They view money differently. They view the world differently. As a result the first step of this blog is to enter into the millionaire’s mindset. Some of the exercises will be taken from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker; Harperbusiness, NY 2005.

Wealth tip # 1
Write down all the statements you heard about money, wealth and rich people when you were young. Don’t just think about them – write them down. Now, write down how you think those statements and attitudes have effected your financial life up until now.

Post 3
By Trafford R. Cole PsyD
Defeat stress before it kills you

How often do you tell people how stressed you are? How often do they tell you how stressed they are? It seems to be almost a status symbol to be stressed and everyone tries to outdo his or her co-workers or friends.

Even though everyone uses the word stress, few people are sure about just what it is and what effect it has on us. There are books that say that stress is good or necessary such as Stress for Success or The Joy of Stress both by Peter Hanson M.D. and others that are more menacing such as Stress, Is It Worth Dying for. Where is the truth?


Is stress just something we have to live with? Can we ignore it? What effects does it have on our body, our mental health and our everyday lives? These are some of the questions that we want to examine in our coming posts on this blog. We will distinguish between eustress and distress and explain each. We will explain what stress is, how it impacts your body and your emotions. We will give you self-test to fill out and we will list the physical and psychological symptoms of stress. Most important however, we will see how to manage your stress and reduce its effects on you.

Let’s start at the beginning, take out a sheet of paper, or open a new document on your computer or in the comments below, and write down all the things that stress you out. Write down all the hassles and irritants of everyday living, but then think too of all the things on the job, in your home and in your relationship that cause you stress, anxiety and anguish.

Now write down what you think stress is. Write your own definition of stress.

Now, read my next post and compare your list to what most people write down.

Stress tip # 1:
Lean back in your chair, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Breathe as deeply as you can and let your arms, legs and neck go limp. Stay that way with your eyes closed for two minutes, just letting yourself go. Now don’t you feel refreshed? Repeat it periodically during the day.

Take Control of your weight

Post 2
By Trafford R. Cole PsyD
Weight Loss

One area of our lives that we need to control is our eating habits. Millions of Americans are struggling with their weight. I you search through the blogs and forums, however, what you see most is a search for the “magic pill” or the “magic solution.” Everyone is talking about Oprah’s green tea solution or Beyonce’s maple syrup diet. If you are a novice to dieting, I can forgive you. But for all of you who like me have been dieting for years, you should know two things by now.

First, there is no magic solution to weight loss; it takes hard work. Second it is not losing the weight that is the hard part. Any, and I repeat, any low calorie diet will allow you to lose weight over time. Then what happens? You hit a plateau, you stop losing the weight, you get discouraged and after just a few weeks or months you have gained back all the weight that you had lost, and for good measure you gain a few more pounds. Sound familiar?

Losing weight permanently means first of all changing your attitude. There are ten attitude changes that must occur for you to take control of this aspect of your life. The first and foremost is: There is no magic pill. There is no magic solution. You must change your life style. That is you must start doing things differently. Dieting is not a temporary solution. You must change the way you do things for the rest of your life. You must start exercising, you must give up certain foods, you must change your priorities. The obese person is like an alcoholic – you are addicted to food and to comfort and you feel out of control. This is the way I have spent much of my life. Let’s take control the right way. We will explain the other attitude changes in the next blogs every Monday.

Meanwhile here is weight loss tip #1
Get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night

It sounds counter intuitive, because people say if I am up more hours I should burn more calories. It doesn’t work that way. All recent studies are showing that a good night’s sleep charges up the metabolism, increases the energy level and allows weight loss. Those who sleep less than 7 hours and those in particular who are sleep deprived at less than five hours per night gain weight more readily. There is a direct correlation between sleep and metabolism. So get a good night’s sleep.

Tomorrow is stress management day.

Introduction

Mountains will appear often in my blog because for me they represent the challenge to strive upward, to improve myself, to rise to new heights, and at the same time they calm me. Mountains represent the solitude of nature, when you are alone surrounded by beauty. It is a spiritual moment when you are at one with God, nature and the universe. I feel most alive when I am in the mountains.

Then, however, we have to descend to our everyday life and that is when the problems begin. From this magical moment of harmony with nature, we find ourselves in the chaotic world of stress. We have a thousand demands on our time and energy, and we feel drained. I don't know about you, but I no longer reach the end of the day to feel drained, often I don't make it to noon, and sometimes I wake up and already feel that way. Modern life stresses us. Its the traffic, the noise, the kids, the boss, the co-workers. It's the deadlines, and mess, the bills and the debt, the husband, the wife, the parents and the kids. It is people who are most close to us and even those far away as we participate in their tragedies and pain through modern media. There is no let up, the expectations to do more, to do better are always with us.

To take off the pressure we eat, we drink, we go shopping, we sit and vegetate in front of the TV, we do anything not to think of all we "should" do, and of course all of this just makes it worse. We gain weight because we eat too much, we get into debt because we spend too much, we get depressed because we can't do it all and we feel we should.

If this describes your life then this is the blog for you.

I want to take a trip over the next months and years through all the self-help literature about losing weight, managing stress, managing finances, dealing with time pressures, overcoming depression and just becoming more aware of my inner world to better know my self. I am doing this not because I am a master in all of these areas, but because I am out of control. My way of gaining control is to read, study, meditate and share ideas. So, if you feel out of control and you want to share this journey with me, please come and visit my blog.

I have thought to organize the blog according to days of the week. Each Monday I will talk about weight loss and dieting; Tuesday will be for stress and depression. Wednesday will be about managing finances, Thursday will deal with self-organization and time mangement and Friday will just be for fun. This way if you are just interested in one subject you can visit that day. (You see I have already taken control through organization!)

Since today is Friday and is just for fun, try this test to see one aspect of your personality:

(self test taken from Kokology 2 by Tadahiko Nagao and Isamu Saito, Simon & Shuster, NY 2001)

If you are not a coffee drinker substitute with hot chocolate

Coffee in general and coffee shops in particular are closely linked with ideas of the adult world and social relations. Somehow despite the caffeine, in the proper setting coffee soothes the nerves and relaxes the mind. A seat in a secluded corner with a good book and maybe some soft jazz in the background provides an ideal environment for many to take a step back and relax from the strains of work and enjoy the true luxury of doing nothing at all, if only for the time it takes to finish a cup. Take a moment for yourself. Immagine yourself in the coffee shop with your cup.

1. Describe the atmosphere and ambience of the shop you choose.

2. You have ordered the cup of coffee, what do you do while you are waiting for it to be brought to your table?

3. When the coffee arrives describe its aroma, its taste and how hot it is.

The answer my friends is for next Friday.

I will see you on Monday for diet tips.